Truth or Dare
Saturday, July 31st, 2004So I’ve been working on my outline for my Three Day Novel idea, rummaging through personal memories that apply to the plot, and remembered a night in college I’d all but forgotten about. How I started to forget about it is beyond me, so I decided to write it down so that I can look back on it more often. It doesn’t have much bearing on the plot of my book, but it popped up in my brainstorming and I had to recall the specifics.
To put this in context, I was completely a virgin until I was 20 and then it took me 2 years to get further than oral sex. This night falls in that window between not-quite-a-virgin and the raging-slut-phase of my mid twenties. To put it mildly, I was one of the sexually tamest individuals in the theatre department and sex was still a really big deal to me.
Well, this night was during one of our many theater parties (I think we were celebrating something important like “the second Tuesday of rehearsals”). Like many college students, most of our department lived 4 or 5 people to a home/apartment. Since we were a small department and all tended to hang out with each other primarily, there were about 20 places that belonged to theater students. This was one of those. I think Jaimi (straight boy I had a crush on), Bill (second guy I had sex with), Kendall, and two others I don’t remember were living there at the time. It was a two-story house on a hill and a corner lot where the backyard door led to the lower floor, but the front entrance came in on the upper floor. It only had four bedrooms and I believe the 5th roommate took over the family room on the lower floor. The backyard was sorta fenced off from the neighbors, but only a few trees provided any privacy from the road. The place was decorated in the way you’d imagine a college house to be decorated – completely mismatched and reflecting five different personalities. You’d walk through a bead curtain and this room would be covered in wall hangings and fabris draped over the lamps… the next room would be utilitarian, with bed, TV, books and clothes, and perhaps a poster for personality.
Anyway, we were drinking our butts off (duh!) and someone suggested we play a game of truth or dare. How much does this game rock when you’re with good friends? But it drove home the point that we didn’t know everything about each other. I found out who had slept with whom and kept it a secret, who had secret crushes, when everyone had lost their virginity. Anyway, I kept taking the “truth” option of the game, because I really didn’t have many secrets to be ashamed of, and everyone was getting bored with me. After many margaritas, I finally gave in to the pressure and chose a “dare” option. Next thing I know, I’m swinging nekkid from a tree and acting like a monkey.
That’s right, I was nekkid, and I wasn’t exactly happy about it. But my friends were astonished to see me do something they never thought I’d do. Until that point, most of the dares had been relatively tame such as “french kiss so-and-so” or “take so-and-so’s bra off with your teeth” (I said “relatively” tame). Well, my dare seemed to be the catalyst for general orgy-like behavior. Not boring orgies like you see in porn where its just fuck, fuck, fuck. No, our crazy night included acts of imagination ranging from the shaving of personal areas to dangerous feats of strength like climbing to the roof by scrambling up the tree (hey, that’s dangerous when you’re nekkid and drunk – think of your bits scaping up against bark!). Actually, the party didn’t get around to having sex (for me anyway, I still had some sense of restraint), although I’m pretty sure a group shower led to a threesome among some of the others.
So why was this night so important to me? Well, looking back, I think that’s the night that really introduced me to sexuality. The time I’d lost my virginity was awkward and disappointing. My follow up attempts at sex were equally unspectacular. I don’t know what I was expecting from sex, maybe some profound change that would make me a different person. But that crazy game of truth or dare is what actually taught me that sex can be – should be – fun!
Although I was still a really good boy until I graduated and moved back to Las Vegas, I think that’s where I figured out that sex which is all solemn and serious, focused on the act itself, isn’t what I’m looking for. Sex should involve tickling and giggling and laughing and silly little games and making a fool of yourself and trying new things just for the sake of seeing if they are interesting.
And it’s a lesson that I’ve started forgetting recently. My most recent sexual encounters have been fairly straight-forward (I cringe at using the word “straight” here, but what can you do?).
I want a circle of friends like those I had in Reno. I want to surround myself by crazy people who will get into a wacky game of truth or dare that goes too far. But life moves forward and I somehow doubt those old friends would still be interested in the same game five years later. I guess we all grow up and put those college years behind us.
*Sighs* I guess I’m just having one of those night where I really wish I had a boyfriend. But it’s a Friday night and I’m not even interested in meeting people tonight because I’ll be moving in a few more weeks. And I have the distinct feeling that living with my parent in Salt Lake is going to put a dent in my sex life. What was I thinking?
