Rant Of The Day
Wednesday, September 1st, 2004So I forced myself to watch the Republican National Convention last night. The harder part was trying to stay open minded and fair as I watched the guvernator, the worst comedy performance by twins since New York Minute and the better half of the First Couple.
If you believe that government should be accountable to the people, not the people to the government ... then you are a Republican! Which is why Republicans champion such big government control bills as the No Child Left Behind Act…
If you believe a person should be treated as an individual, not as a member of an interest group ... then you are a Republican! Clearly, though, we will attempt to rewrite the constitution to prevent members of certain groups from obtaining rights because we are blatantly pandering to Christian extremists which are in no way a special interest group.
If you believe your family knows how to spend your money better than the government does ... then you are a Republican! Which is why we propose doing away with all taxes – you know that you need roads and schools and we trust that you’ll willingly donate portions of your paycheck to these worthy causes if given the option.
If you believe our educational system should be held accountable for the progress of our children ... then you are a Republican! But we will turn a blind eye to the criticisms of standardized testing, teaching to the test, and further compound problems stemming from economic disparities in the school system by withholding funding from schools with higher rates of poor kids and ignore the social pressures and variations this puts on children.
If you believe this country, not the United Nations, is the best hope of democracy in the world ... then you are a Republican! You are also one of those arrogant Americans that the rest of the world despises for your attitude which mimics that of ignorant teenage boys boasting about their sexual prowess.
And, ladies and gentlemen ... if you believe we must be fierce and relentless and terminate terrorism ... then you are a Republican! Or a knee-jerk reactionist accepting the Terrorism 101 understanding of the concept. Really, terrorism is a complex problem requiring complex solutions – it’s not just about marching through the Islamic world with guns. Some of the solutions will be neither fierce nor relentless, some may have to involve patience, cunning, self-examination (as individuals and as a country) and occasionally even diplomatic approaches.
There is another way you can tell you're a Republican. You have faith in free enterprise, faith in the resourcefulness of the American people ... and faith in the U.S. economy. To those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy, I say: Don't be economic girlie men!
Free Enterprise: Business governed by the laws of supply and demand, not restrained by government interference, regulation or subsidy.
Free Enterprise – destroying lives and land since the dawn of time! Here’s another way of looking at “Free Enterprise,” in it’s simplest incarnation… personal greed unchecked by the government for impact on the environment, long-term health and safety of consumers, and social impact on laborers and the poor. And of course, adding the “girlie-man” is in no way offensive or unintelligent.
Arnold is becoming more and more a parody of himself. How many references to his movie career can he pack into his political speeches? I’m thinking of ways he could be doing this were he a Democrat… “Stem Cell Research could help millions of Americans say ‘it’s not a tumer!’” “When I played a pregnant man, I learned that not all families are traditional and we should respect all types of families. I also learned about respecting a woman’s right to choose what happens with her own body.” “Let’s tell George W. and the Republicans that we want a total recall!”
So, on to the shrub twins. I really want to like these girls. I do. When they came out, I thought “they seem nice.” The bad stand-up act was embarrassing, though. I was embarrassed for them through that whole “who is Dick Cheney?” “What’s up with Condie?” “So who’s Karl?” segment. If that’s the Republican speech-writers idea of humor, I am absolutely baffled that late-night comics think Kerry and Gore are “dull” candidates. I could be wrong, but I suspect that when the twins made the joke about Sex In The City it may have been the first time Republicans mentioned S-E-X on stage without preaching about morality in the same breath.
Mrs. Bush’s speech was fine. I was amused after hearing Arnold paint the prez as a decisive leader strongly committed to doing the right thing, to then hear Laura describe the painful soul-searching nights leading into the war. They really were trying to cover all their bases, weren’t they. Either the president is a strong commander in chief, or he’s a compassionate, thoughtful man. Of course, the one thing he isn’t…
a man caught in the headlights and waiting to be told what to do.
What bothered me most was the way delegates reacted to Mrs. Bush. All the comments I saw were along the lines of “she’s a lady, supporting her man” and “she obviously cares very much about her husband.” No one recalled any policy discussion from the speech, all they cared about was noticing how well she plays the part of stereotype gender roles. I wonder how these delegates would have reacted if she’s made a Hilary speech (or even a Teresa Heinz-Kerry), with her own political concerns and causes beyond the party line and her husband’s focus?
Overall, the night was supposed to showcase the diversity of the Republican Party. It was supposed to be the appeal to the moderates and undecided voters. If that was the goal, I give them a failing grade. Arnold might be able to say that you can disagree with the party line and still be a good Republican, but it’s just poll-pandering bullshit. Their party platform is anything but inclusive and even moderates who’ve looked at the platform agree that it’s catered for the extremists. You cannot convince me that your party is inclusive when it sponsors an attempt to write into the constitution the most discriminatory law in decades.
*sigh* Okay, rant done.
