Blind Prophecy

So there was only one moment in the whole Christmas weekend that made me upset and spoiled an otherwise peachy time.

My brother-in-law-to-be, who spent the holiday with us, were getting along just fine and we cautiously revisited the subject of my sexuality. First, he suggested that I go to (Mormon) Church with them again, and I told him that I was not an apportunity to do missionary work and even if the LDS church completely changed their position on homosexuality, it still wouldn’t be the right religion for me. A few minutes later…

BILTB: Just be careful out there?
Me: Huh?
BILTB: Just be careful. My brother died from AIDS because he was gay.
Me: …
BILTB: Just be careful.
Me: (not at all kindly) Your brother died from having unsafe sex. Not because he was gay. He was dumb.

Honestly, I probably could have handled that better. I’m just so tired of hearing people tell me (in judgemental tones) that I need to worried about AIDS. You think I don’t fucking know that? I have been out and sexually active for eight years. I have been working with non-profit gay rights and education groups throughout most of that time. What on earth makes you think I don’t know how to use condoms? Hell, I could teach you more about condom use that you ever thought possible. I’ve had more friends die… seen more people I love in the hospital… comforted more young people with fresh test results than he can comprehend.

*pants heavily at end of rant*

Okay, so his brother was an asshole who had AIDS and constantly tried to make his family feel like shit about it. He told them that he “could have been straight” but wasn’t just to get back at his parents. He died a bitter, angry person who has made his family hate homosexuality so much that even though Brandon and his parents are good people, they don’t even see how patronizing, bigoted and narrow their views on the subject are.

I also said something just after that exchange about how easy it is to learn the basics of safe sex and how to avoid catching HIV. I probably would have launched into a discussion about how it affects the straight community too, but instead I left the room and played video games.

I want to get along with him. I’m trying. But I honestly don’t know how much work I’m going to have to dismantle ideas and notions that are tied into a personal tragedy of his.

Filed under: livejournal by Jere Keys