Blind Prophecy

Well, I may never get to have my confrontation with asshole-in-law if my family keeps helping like this. Yesterday Jessi let him have it (she has her own grudge – he called her “fat and ugly” five months into her pregnancy) after he yelled at my mother because she couldn’t come down to Ogden that day (without giving her time to explain). Today, he yelled at my mom again, so Jeanne called called Joanna. As usual, asshole-in-law answered Joanna’s phone. Jeanne stood in the yard and said over and over and over again “I don’t want to talk to you, I want to talk to my sister” until he got annoyed and handed the phone to Joanna. Jeanne finally got Joanna and my mom talking.

Mom let Joanna know (in no uncertain terms) that the new rules are thus:
1) If anyone in our family wants to talk to asshole-in-law, we’ll call his cell phone. He’s not allowed to answer her phone when siblings or parents call. If she doesn’t want to answer, it can go to voicemail and she can at least hear our message to her.
2) She need to think about the idea that asshole-in-law’s consistently homophobic comments are his way of taking out his issues over his brother’s death from AIDS (apparently, Joanna was stunned because it had simply never occured to her that he was taking out his own issues about his brother on me). In fact, Mom ruined my surprise and told Joanna that the next comment he makes about my sexuality will get his nose broken. Joanna has to think about this (read: talk to Brandon about this and suggest counselling).
3) Jessi, Rob, Jacki, Patrick and I have all agreed (although we came to these decisions seperately) that we’re putting our foots down. Asshole-in-law has consistently insulted us, offended us and criticized us so none of are going to visit until we are specifically invited to come down to Ogden. That means a very direct invitation that takes into account our schedules. Some of us are requiring apologies, too.
4) If asshole-in-law yells at my mother again, she’s ending her philosophy of staying out of her children’s marriages. She’s at her breaking point and no one (and I mean no one) wants to see what happens when her patience runs out.

I’m a bit pissed about the fact that they’ve scheduled the baby blessing (Mormon ritual for newborns) on “the first Sunday in June.” Yeah, the day of my Pride Festival. The one day in the next two months that I absolutely, positively cannot change my plans, no matter how important. It also means that none of my family will be able to attend Pride. I actually asked them to make the effort this year. For as much as I talk about it, they really have no idea what I do with my life or why it’s so important. But now, none of them are going to be there (except maybe Jacki and Patrick – depending).

I get it, baby is super important. But dammit, what about me? Especially since, you know, that thing where I leave the state and move far away in 8 weeks.

Anyway, I don’t know if things are going to get better or worse, but I’m definately not alone in the conflict with asshole-in-law. I tell you, I’d never want to be on the receiving end of the combined anger and animosity of my entire family (small army that it is). We’re all experts at passive-aggression, and if you push any of us (individually) to the point of overt anger and confrontation, it’s not pretty… I can only imagine what all of us exploding at once would be like.

Filed under: livejournal by Jere Keys