I’m alive! I’ve landed in Cincinnati and I’m 90% unpacked, although I’ve yet to find a routine or do much of anything except unpack boxes and shop for furniture. My room kicks ass, though. I’ll post pictures sometime after my bed is delivered, which won’t be until next week.

Anyway, for those who weren’t following along on Twitter because you’re too lazy or because you stubbornly refuse (…Jacki), here’s the blow-by-blow of my trip.

Monday, July 28, 2008

• Off to pick up the minivan. 08:01 AM
• Packed the van to the ceiling. Hitting the road in 20. 10:26 AM
• iPod is hooked up, food in my belly, leaving my heart in SF (sorry), it’s time to go. 10:47 AM
• First stop in Sacramento, CA to use the restroom at McDonald’s. 12:30 PM
• Weather has changed so much since leaving the city, I had to change into a t-shirt and put on sunblock before continuing. 12:41 PM
• At Donner Pass. Running out of California soon. 02:17 PM
• Donner Pass – It’s Party Time! 02:33 PM
  
  I made it to Donner Pass without resorting to canabalism. (What hitch hiker?)
• In Reno, walking the campus of my alma mater (which is basically closed, of course) 03:13 PM
• …First Born 03:40 PM
  
  Yup, that pretty much says it all. In Reno across from my alma mater.
• Rest Stop near Winnemucca NV 07:13 PM
  
  Now that I don’t live in Nevada, I don’t have to pretend the desert is pretty in its own unique way.
• Sunset in Elko, NV 08:05 PM
  
  I thought I’d have a real dinner instead of road food. “Where is Elko’s nicest restaurant outside of a casino?” I asked. This, apparently, is it. I think I might have more luck at Taco Bell.
• Blurry lights of Wendover, NV 10:09 PM
  
  Blew through Wendover, NV without stopping. Goodbye ugly casinoes, hello Utah.
• Landed in Salt Lake. In my jammies and tucked into my little brother’s bed. Just glancing at the world of internet I missed today. 12:16 AM

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

• Spent the day in Utah visiting family and running some errands. Tried to visit Valerie but she was busy. Did get to spend some time with Michael. But mostly, it was family time.
• How I Woke Up This Morning in Salt Lake City, UT
  
  Never mind that I was driving until 1a.m., my nephew was excited to see me. I woke up to find him leering down at me like this.
• Work out in Salt Lake City, UT 02:20 PM
  
  The kids decided to help me do planks and pushups so I can stay on top of my workout.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

• I don’t miss waiting my turn for the shower in the morning. 06:46 AM
• Hitting the road again. So long SLC. 08:40 AM
• I had to make a stop here. Echo Reservoir, UT 09:41 AM
  
  This is officially the farthest east I have ever personally driven. Beautiful day for it.
• Potty break in Evanston, WY… where it’s legal to buy and sell porn again. 10:22 AM
• Green River, WY
  
  Stopped for lunch in Green River, WY
• Outside Little America WY 11:45 AM
  
  I can’t describe how different and wrong it feels to be seeing the Rockies from the other side and flatness stretching out ahead. It’s a little like having a wall torn out of a house you’ve lived in your entire life. Anyway, I’m officially on roads that are brand new to me from here on. The adventure begins.
• How far do I have to travel to stop seeing mountain man statues? 04:57 PM
  
  In Cheyenne, WY, looking for the only comic book store withing 300+ miles.
• Found the comics store. A guy with 3 tables in an otherwise vacant storefront. Now to eat. 05:09 PM
• North Platte, NE – officially in Central time now.
  
  Stopping for the night in thrilling Northe Platte, NE where I could maybe get wireless internet from the neighboring motel if I get restless – or I can use the computer in the lobby.
• At some dive bar in North Platte, NE watching a 16yo play pool, a fat girl make out with a totally hot guy, and missing smoking. 09:43 PM

Thursday, July 31, 2008

• Moment of panic when I saw my computer and half my stuff missing from my van. Then I realized that I was looking at same make/model as mine. 06:38 AM
• Just saved $0.20/gallon by crossing the river and driving 4 blocks from the freeway. 06:47 AM
• History is written by… (near Kearny, NE) 08:03 AM
  
  Morning coffee kicked in, so I had to stop at a rest area where I found this delightfully racist informational placard all about the hostile Cheyenne Indians killing innocent white folk and the brave soldiers who came to the rescue.
• Archway Monument Kearny, NE 09:10 AM
  
  “When,” I ask myself, “am I ever likely to be here again?” So I stopped at the Archway Monument in Kearny, NE
• Words I never expected to say: “I’m in Omaha.” It’s bigger than I thought. 11:49 AM
• Lincoln was prettier, but the I-80 construction dissuaded me from stopping for lunch. 11:50 AM
• Omaha, NE gas prices
  
  Mom is paying $4.15 in Salt Lake. It was even worse in San Francisco. Why is gas so much cheaper in Nebraska?
• Corn! Welcome to Iowa. 12:55 PM
  
  20 minutes into Iowa and I already think corn is creepy.
• More corn just passed Des Moines, IA. 03:18 PM
  
  Look, it’s significantly more corn! I still find it creepy.
• Last week’s delivery didn’t go so well… 04:47 PM
  
  Must. Resist. Easy. Joke… (same rest stop as previous photo)
  It reads: Vending machines operated by the Iowa Department for the Blind.
• Having dinner with my sister, niece, brother and brother-in-law 05:57 PM

Friday, August 1, 2008

• Spent another day with family. Jayne‘s family lives in Iowa, so I got to see my niece Alexia and my baby brother (not so baby anymore) Jared because he’s staying with them for the summer. We spent much of the day at the Amana Colonies (a group of settlements of German Pietists) shopping for goods made by religious isolationists.
  
• Just got my butt kicked in Scrabble by my niece who finished kindergarten last May. Spending the day with family near Iowa City. 07:58 AM
• Fashion Amana Colonies style 03:18 PM
  
  Jared is trying to pick out school clothes.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

• On the road again. Last leg of the trip, Iowa City to Cincinnati. 06:03 AM
• Crossing the Mississippi 08:07 AM
  
  Celebrated crossing the Mississippi River by stopping for a short morning hike on Sylvan Island in Moline, IL
• Peoria, IL… actual place 10:23 AM
  
  Driving through (or techincally around) Peoria reminded me of all the years I spent thinking Peoria was a made-up name, like a punchline to a joke. And also how much time I’ve spent believing in places that really are fictional (heaven, middle earth, Alabama).
• Crossing into Indiana. Shout out to @bilerico and the best damn queer blog from Indiana or otherwise. One state line left to go. 12:32 PM
• Indiana Welcome Center… the disappointment continues 01:06 PM
  
  I’ve now visited truck stops and roadside rest areas in 8 states and once again porn has mislead me. I haven’t been propositioned by a single burly truck driver. And don’t get me started on the lack of corn-fed farmboys flahing their junk suggestively in the urinals.
• Last stop in Indianapolis to refuel, eat crap, and stretch legs… then on to Cincy (home… feels weird) 02:18 PM
• Yes, we all merged into the unmoving lanes so you could speed down the empty lanes to the point where you absolutely have to merge. 02:35 PM
• I have arrived in Cincinnati. What no palm fronds and a mule? 04:44 PM
• Celebrating my arrival 08:35 PM
  
  Jennifer is excited I’m here. Really. It’s just that she’s got this big presentation on Monday…
  The place rocks. Pictures will follow after unpacking.

I’m sure it will surprise nobody that there are even more pictures. You can see the whole Cross-Country Adventure set on Flickr.

Also, thanks to those of you who commented on Twitter, Flickr, Facebook, etc. The drive may have been long and boring in the days before Web 2.0, but I found myself often entertained even when I was by myself.

Filed under: Cincinnati, personal by Jere Keys