Focus on the Anus asks for Rain on Obama’s Speech
Friday, August 8th, 2008
via Joe.My.God
Well, okay, Focus on the Anus’s “regular guy”, I know you said this isn’t a contest, but I can’t resist.
But I’m not going to pray. I’m going to look to science for some guidance as to what is likely to occur. A quick check on Weather Underground finds that there is a 29% chance of rain (any rain) based on 14 years of historical record. While that’s no guarantee of anything – what with global warming and the natural unpredictability of weather – I still think the odds are stacked more than 2/3 in my favor.
But even if there is rain on August 28, once again looking to that nasty science of meteorology, we can see that historically, rainfall has been at most 0.31″ – not really the “network cameras can’t see the podium” downpour you’re hoping for. After checking numerous weather forecast sites, those that predict precipitation of any kind for Denver this month (none go as far as 20 days out) don’t anticipate anything higher that .06″ in a day. A little summer sprinkle that cuts the heat is hardly what you’re looking for.
And before you get excited about some other act of God, the chances of a cloudy day (based on historical data) are 14% and of a windy day (avg. windspeed over 10 mph) or a humid day are both 21%.
But let’s say that despite the probabilities, despite the more up-to-date forecasts sure to come, despite the technology and experience of television professionals who have surely shot events in that very stadium under poor weather conditions, we still get that “unexpected, unpredicted, unforecast rain” silencing Barrack Obama’s voice… is it true that you’re so pathetically insecure in your ability to win the so-called culture war based on reason and argument? Are you so bothered by the country’s increasing acceptance of a woman’s right to choose and gay couple’s right to be married that you’ve moved on to praying for a miraculous display of divine intervention?
Well, you go on crossing your fingers and wishing really, really hard that the heavens will part and some inexplicably Caucasian dude who grew up in the middle east 2000 years ago will float down on a beam of light. While you do that, this queer atheist progressive feminist liberal will keep on making arguments based on reason, science, an appeal to basic human compassion, and hope for a better, more just and equitable world in the future.
And we’ll see who wins.
