Choices and Gay Friends
Wednesday, October 1st, 2008Sarah Palin claims to have a best friend who is also a lesbian, a woman she has been close to for 30 years (since she was 14!!). She also thinks homosexuality is a choice. Not that she’s judging…
As you can imagine, this has caused some outrage and concern in queer blogs today. Many people are jumping up to denounce her as being out-of-touch with medical science and intelligent thinking on this topic. While I agree that she doesn’t care what science says and she is out-of-touch with most non-batshit-crazy people, I have consistently said over the last few years that the “it’s not a choice” argument is wrong for the queer community.
For maybe the hundredth time, it doesn’t matter if sexual orientation is a matter of nature or nurture. In all likelihood, sexual orientation is a multifaceted issue shaped by a combination of genetics, biology, cultural upbringing, life experiences and much more. Science may never definitively point to a single all-encompassing theory that will always explain a person’s sexual orientation. But choice or not doesn’t change the fact that in a diverse, pluralistic society, we deserve equal protections under the law. Religion (which is clearly a choice and not biologically determined) is a protected status for civil rights, sexual orientation should be no less so without clear, unambiguous, scientifically validated reasons to the contrary (which, it shouldn’t surprise you, don’t exist).
Furthermore, resting our arguments for civil rights on this “it’s not a choice” platform ignores the reality of many people who are bisexual or at least capable of choosing between a heterosexual and homosexual relationship, to say nothing of the complications for transgender and genderqueer people.
In short, Sarah Palin is wrong about a great many things, but I’m not convinced this is the best example. She is wrong for opposing legal recognition of same-sex relationships, she is wrong for opposing hate crimes that recognize sexual orientation, she is wrong for opposing ENDA, she is wrong for opposing a woman’s right to choose, she is wrong for denying science around evolution, she is wrong to support harmful ex-gay programs (or, at least, her church does), she is wrong for waffling on the question of whether or not humans have caused global warming, and she is wrong about her anti-environmental “drill, baby, drill” energy policies… and she’s wrong for not remaining open-minded on the “choice/not a choice” question (because despite my previous paragraphs, I’m still inclined to believe that there are strong genetic and biological influences on sexual orientation based on current science), but to say that she’s wrong simply for referring to homosexuality as a choice is not entirely helpful.
Finally, like many of her proven lies, this lesbian buddy going back to her teen years remains unproven and mysterious. The queer community of Wasilla can’t tell us who this friend is. The queer blogosphere can’t locate this Saphic sister. And unless Gov. Palin is willing to fess up a name or at least some believable details on this nearly-lifelong BFF (Butch-Femme Friend?), I think we can chalk this up to something along the lines of the pathetic “some of my best friends are black” statement to excuse racism. Even if the “best friend who is also a lesbian” does make an appearance, that doesn’t change her offensive and out-of-touch positions on sexual orientation and gender identity.
I don’t care if she judges me. Dozens of people do every day. I care about the legislation she intends to push or kill if she makes it to the White House.
She just said that she’s not going to judge people, but then she says that her friend has made a choice that maybe she wouldn’t have made.
Sounds like judgment to me.
Glad to see someone else is skeptical about the value of the “it’s not a choice” argument. I think it’s got similar problems for the trans community — particularly for crossdressers (like myself), genderqueers and others who aren’t interested in transitioning.