Marry, F*ck or Kill
Wednesday, June 17th, 2009In honor of the Tony Awards two weeks ago and Pride last weekend, this week’s theme is out and proud boys of Broadway.
| Choice 1 | Choice 2 | Choice 3 |
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| Nick Adams of the soon-to-close Guys and Dolls and the body that threatened to upstage Mario Lopez | Gavin Creel, Tony nominated star of Hair and Broadway Impact spokeshunk | John Tartaglia, currently of Shrek, notably known for Avenue Q |
To review the rules… You must choose one who you would spend the rest of your life with, one you would have a freaky-monkey one-night stand with, and one who you would put to death*. You tell me who you choose and why.
*standard disclaimer: we are anti-death penalty, we play this game as a thought exercise, not an endorsement of murder. Also, we are sex-positive and believe that two people can have crazy one-time sex without shame or emotional baggage. Finally, for the purposes of this game, we all live in marriage equality jurisdictions.
My choices from last week:
Marry: Zac Efron. Of the three, he seems to be the most tolerable for long-term interaction.
F*ck: Taylor Lautner, but only if he brings an adult-sized version of the Sharkboy costume, because that would be kinky.
Kill: Joe Jonas. Even if his music didn’t suck, the hyper-preachy nonsense about purity rings and Christian messaging is a huge turnoff.
Quick typo alert! Gavin Creel, not Creen.
Jere Keys Reply:
June 17th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
I knew that. Had it correct in the JPG file name. Strange typo.
Well I don’t really know anything about any of these guys, except what you tell me here. So…
F*ck: Nick Adams, just cause any body that could possibly upstage Mario is one that I wanna be rubbing nasties with.
The other two…I don’t really wanna kill either of them, they’re just so cute. But if I have to chose…
Marry: Gavin Creel, just cause of his hairthing in a few of the photos.
Kill: John Tartaglia, just cause I’m not a big fan of puppets.
But bear in mind the last two choices are VERY arbitrary!
HUGS…
Marry Gavin – Cute, talented and an activist! WHOA
Fuck – Nick (the Bod)
Kill – John – Sorry bud but you aren’t even in the same leauge as the other two.
Well, I don’t know any of them so I’m going to base this solely on looks cause I’m not shallow or anything:
Marry: Nick (best bod pictures)
F*ck: John (nice smile)
Kill: Gavin (sorry hon, nothing personal but the goofy beach picture sealed his doom)
Marry: Gavin – He’s cute, has a nice body, and I liked Hair. I just wish this guy would grow some facial hair! Looks too baby-faced, but it’s ok.
Kiss: Nick – He has a nice body (obviously) but I don’t think his face is that cute. So I could use him once, but wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life with him or send his body to a premature death.
Kill: John – I don’t think he’s attractive at all. And I could never date someone who played in Shrek.
Joe Jonas has not mentioned his religion or his ring in literally 2 years, and even then it was no more than once. It’s the media that always brings it up. Everytime he’s asked, he declines to answer. Get over your lame reason to “kill” him. Be a little more creative. Can’t you just say you want to kill him because he’s better looking and more talented on his worst days than you are on your best? Jealousy isn’t flattering. And no, if you haven’t figured it out by my writing, I’m not 13. I could be Joe’s mother, but I recognize talent and beauty when I see it, no matter how old the bearer is.
Jere Keys Reply:
June 17th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
There’s never a second chance to make a first impression, so I stand by my distaste of his religiosity. But if you want more creative: the Beyonce dance video was lame, he’s not as attractive as the other two candidates, he sounds like a complete idiot in interviews, and because whenever people say anything negative about any of the Jonas dorks freakish fans like you show up to confirm that only ridiculous internet trolls actually like them.
Now, turn off your “google alert” for his name and get a life, woman old enough to be his mother.
[...] choices from last week: This is a tough week for me, because I truly adore all three gentlemen. But this game is ruthless. [...]