Marry, F*ck or Kill
Wednesday, July 1st, 2009While trying to come up with a theme for this week, I decided to take a break and watch the newest episode of True Blood. This is the show that keeps on giving, and this week it’s giving us the bodies boys for the game. But so much flesh to choose from… I had to go with a couples theme! That’s right, in honor of Billy Mays, I’m throwing in an extra guy with every choice!
Even with the couples technique, I still had to leave out hotties like Eggs and Hoyt.
| Choice 1 | Choice 2 | Choice 3 |
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| Eric and Lafayette – one is an amoral Nordic vampire and the other is an amoral drug dealer-slash-prostitute. These bad boys have questionable taste in fashion but definite sex appeal. | Bill and Sam – vampire and shape-shifter, the original rivals for Sookie’s heart, but I’ve always thought they had their own sexual tension. Probably because I’ve read too many Anita Blake novels. | Jason and Eddie – vampire-hating hetero manslut meets meek and gay vampire. This couple is a study in contrasts: combine them to make one dumb sad-sack or one hot and kind studmuffin. |
To review the rules… You must choose one who you would spend the rest of your life with, one you would have a freaky-monkey one-night stand with, and one who you would put to death*. You tell me who you choose and why.
*standard disclaimer: we are anti-death penalty, we play this game as a thought exercise, not an endorsement of murder. Also, we are sex-positive and believe that two people can have crazy one-time sex without shame or emotional baggage. Finally, for the purposes of this game, we all live in marriage equality jurisdictions, which, this week, also allows for polyamorous relationship recognition.
My choices from last week:
I don’t care. Really, being forced to marry or f*ck any of these pop tarts would be torture, so really, it’s just a question of how much pain I can withstand.
Marry: Lady Gaga. Because I suspect she’d know what’s up and we could go about our lives with our own love interests while I live off her lottery winnings, er, I mean, music career income.
F*ck: Taylor Swift. I just hope she writes a better song about me after the fact than she did about the Jonas dork.
Kill: Fergie. Process of elimination.
I dont know who any of these guys are, having never seen the show. And here at work, my monitor sucks, so the photos aren’t all the clear. So I’ll just go by the descriptions.
Marry: Bill & Sam. A shapeshifter, you say? That means he could be a different person for me to have sex with every night for the rest of our lives! I’m in!
F*ck: Eric and Lafayette: Amoral=no inhibitions: plus! Nordic=blonde, blue eyed sexiness: plus! prostitute=probably knows sexual things I’ve never heard of! drug dealer, okay, that’s a negative, but overall, this is the one I wanna bump undead nasties with!
Kill: Jason and Eddie; vampire hating hetero sound too much like small minded homophobes. And meek just sounds boring. I’;d stake these two through the heart…even though one’s not a vampire.
HUGS…
Reply
Tam Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 7:58 am
I’m thinking he means werewolf hon, not spacey shapeshifter, but I could be wrong because I’ve never seen the show.
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Jere Keys Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 8:23 am
Not werewolf, but close. The only animal we’ve seen Sam shift into so far is a dog, but if I recall correctly, he can assume other shapes as long has he has a living model to imitate.
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Marc Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 9:50 am
but I believe he also said other humans are the hardest to shift into. too complicated.
Polt Reply:
July 1st, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Oh, Marc, if I’m marrying him and spending the rest of my life with him, he has ALL the time in the world to learn to shift into Zac Efron or Brad Pitt, or Leonardo Dicaprio, or any Jonas Brother of legal age.
HUGS…
This hard because I’ve ever seen the show and have to base it partly descriptions and partly on pictures:
Marry: I think I’ll go for the vamp and shifter since they are two of the hottest supernaturals going.
F*ck: The Nordic vamp and druggie. Ummm. Because a Nordic vamp sounds hot. And we got the whole light/dark thing going on.
Kill: I guess the other two because the one is intolerant and the other guys is just stuck with him. Sorry buddy.
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Marry: Bill and Sam – Two of the show’s best, put together, duh!
Mess around with: Jason while Eddie watches.
Kill: Eric and Lafayette – NEITHER does it for me.
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Jere Keys Reply:
July 2nd, 2009 at 10:45 pm
You like it when they watch? Kinkier than I expected…
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[...] choices from last week: Oh, True Blood, why do you have so many hot guys? Marry: Eric + Lafayette. So apparently I go for [...]