Mascot Contest Challenge 2 – Athleticism
Friday, July 3rd, 2009
After the scandal of last week’s challenge, I decided to remove the seemingly arbitrary element of my role as judge in our second round. Therefore, to choose between the contestants based on athleticism, we will hold a race. Straightforward and without any way to blackmail or embarrass me.
So, we gather at the crack of dawn for the Amazing Mascot Race!
Well, Toby Dog and I gather at the crack of dawn. No sign of our other contestants, yet. So, Toby Dog, you seem to be underdog, if you’ll pardon the expression, at this point in the contest. What are your plans to catch up?
Toby Dog: Well, I’ve always been good at sports, so I think I’ve got a good chance at winning today.
Oh, hold on Toby, I’m getting a message from Gay Moose. Hopefully he’s on his way.
GM via text: Hiya! So I was totes at the store picking out a new sporters outfit when I met this Hottie McHottie jockboy. He was helping me try on short shortz and I axed him if he knew anywayz 2 warmup B4 a big race. He told me he’d give me a workout all night long! So then we ended up at this bar where they give U free drinkz if UR in UR undiewear, but I was totes going commando, so I axed the bartender what U get if UR not wearing anything and he sez STDz! Lolcatz! But then he sez not 2 worry cuz they have loanerz, and I was all groazzzzzies! Then he handz me these Spiderman undie-rooz for like 8-year-oldz and he sez nobodyz ever put them onners B4 and I never back down from a challenge! Lolcatz! But I looked fierce even tho they were berry-huggerz and all those boyz were buying me drinkz… now that I think of it, if the drinkz were freebies, why were they buying them for me? So N-E-wayz, 2 make a long story 3 inches longerz (tee-hee), I’m in Memphis and I can totes get a ride back 2 Cincy on Sunday. Can U wait for me? Love U! – GM
So, I guess he’s out of the running this week.
Elle: Alright, I’m up at this un-fucking-godly hour of the morning. When did they start making a 6 o’clock in the morning?
Oh, you brought friends and family with you!
Elle: No, these are my minions.
Minions? Why am I not surprised?
Elle: They’ll be running the race for me. I don’t do sweaty.
Oh, no you don’t! People yelled at me last time, you’re not getting away with bending the rules again this week. Either you run or you forfeit.
Hey, where are you going…
Well, there you have it, folks. It looks like Toby Dog wins this round.
Toby Dog: Cool!
We’ll be back next week with another challenge. In the meantime, keep expressing your support for your favorite contestant and trying to convert others to the cause. At the end of the fourth challenge, we’ll be calculating the all-important popularity factor in deciding who will be declared the new mascot of the blog.
| Rankings | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Spirit | Athleticism | Character & Symbolism | Creativity | Popularity | Elle | Toby Dog |
Okay, so Gay Moose is totally channeling Josh. I want him to win even more now. I’ve seen Josh in his underoos. Hot.
Elle does have the sarcasm thing going though which I’m starting to find attractive. Hmmmm.
As an aside, that’s quite the lizard collection you have there.
Tam, I was thinking the exact same thing! I was wondering if Gay Moose looked as hot in the Spiderman underoos sized for an 8 year old as josh did his boxerbriefs? In fact, now I’m wondering what josh would look like in Spiderman underoos sized for an 8 year old……………………..
Okay, sorry, I’m back….I think Gay Moose should still have won this challenge cause going to a bar and drinking endless drinks whilst in SPiderman underoos and then spending the entire weekend in Memphis with a Hottie McHottie jockboy takes quite a bit of athleticism in its own right, don’tcha think?
HUGS…
Tam Reply:
July 3rd, 2009 at 8:51 am
You would know.
Polt Reply:
July 3rd, 2009 at 10:50 am
Tam! I’m offended! You know I’d only wear SUPERMAN underoos! You should know better.
And I’ve never been to Memphis, but who am I to quibble over tiny details.
HUGS….
Yay! Toby Dog won something! Good. Though he probably won’t win again. lol. I was just so moved by his music video.
Jere: Your facial hair looks really nice in that final pic. Great beard, man.
STDz!! Good one bartender!
The more I see of Elle the more I like her. She has minions and doesn’t like running. Those are positives. And she gets props for showing up at the un-fucking-godly hour of 6 am. That is dedication. Moose couldn’t even be bothered.
Go Elle
Dude. Elle. With MINIONS. I think this is how this breaks down to Jere’s personality:
Elle: his darker side, what he wishes he could be when it comes to political activism — powerful and cutthroat… and with minions!
Gay Moose: his inner twink, what he wishes he could pull off… or could be pulled off of him in Memphis
Toby Dog: how Jere views himself… a little nerdy, but altogether lovable.
Regardless of my undergraduate psychoanalysis. I’m voting for Elle, still. She came with people to do things FOR her. Duh. Why would you want anyone else?