Blind Prophecy

You know, I really try to keep my crazy on the inside most of the time. My interaction with casual friends, my online diatribes, my conversations with my family… I really spend quite a bit of time carefully policing my thoughts and gut reactions. True, I slip on occasion, but a surprising number of people seem to think I’m a sane person. Only a handful of people have known me well enough to see the full crazy come out to play. I scared some of them away. That may be almost certainly is why I’m still single.

I always feel like this scene from Scrubs…

Anyway, on Tuesday morning I posted about how I was beginning to sort and pack up my stuff because the move to New York was 40 days away. See, in my head, I constantly live in the “worst possible scenario” place and 40 days was the “minimum” time I’d need to guarantee that everything I needed to do was taken care of.

On Tuesday evening, I found out that I might* be moving to New York 3 weeks sooner than I expected, or, in about 18 days. This changes everything about my plan.

Instead of Jennifer and I driving to New York together, I’ll be doing a one-way car rental. Instead of needing money to move in mid-August, I’ll need it ASAP. Instead of taking my time packing and sorting, I had to physically leave the house to stop myself from shoving everything from my closet into a dufflebag tonight. Instead of getting my second immunization shot from the same clinic, I have to get one in New York – which will probably involve some sort of medical records transfer and delay. Instead of 5 more weeks of lazy relaxation, I have 2 weeks of fairly busy “to do” lists.

So now I’m looking at the hastily packed box of “important papers” that probably needs more sorting (e.g. do I really need that “welcome to your health plan” packet from the job in San Francisco?). I’m jotting down crazy notes to myself that only I will understand the importance of (e.g. “count towels”). I need to deal with change of address forms and shopping lists and shipping labels and travel maps and seeing people and calling people and assembling documents and… And I’m plagued by the inescapable thought that I’m obsessing on details while overlooking something huge and important.

But I also thrive under pressure. Maybe this is exactly what I needed to jolt me out of a long year of low-to-nonexistant responsibility.

In the meantime, such chaos tends to unleash some of the crazy, so a preemptive warning/apology to anyone reading this: I may melt your face.

* Let’s just say that I assumed something I was reading was not especially relevant to me without reading it closely. Not a very lawyerly trait, I admit, but a mistake I’m not likely to repeat. It would be irresponsible of me not to take advantage of an offer being extended to me, but there’s a small chance that I might still say “no” if I can’t coordinate everything in time.

Filed under: NYC, law school, personal by Jere Keys