Marry, F*ck or Kill
Wednesday, July 15th, 2009Wait, it’s already Wednesday again? Shit. Time flies when you’re having fun packing. Even though I probably won’t see it until after the move, we’ll celebrate the new Harry Potter movie with this week’s game.
| Choice 1 | Choice 2 | Choice 3 |
 |
 |
 |
| Tom Felton – Draco Malfoy | Daniel Radcliffe – Harry Potter | Rupert Grint – Ron Weasley |
To review the rules… You must choose one who you would spend the rest of your life with, one you would have a freaky-monkey one-night stand with, and one who you would put to death*. You tell me who you choose and why.
*standard disclaimer: we are anti-death penalty, we play this game as a thought exercise, not an endorsement of murder. Also, we are sex-positive and believe that two people can have crazy one-time sex without shame or emotional baggage. Finally, for the purposes of this game, we all live in marriage equality jurisdictions.
My choices from last week:
Marry: Anderson Cooper. He’s got Vanderbilt money and could keep me in the manner to which I would quickly become accustomed.
F*ck: Carlos Watson. He’s just hot.
Kill: Keith Olbermann. Oh, a little part of me has died for typing that. Still, Jen made an excellent point – can you imagine having your little quirks become Special Comments before bed? Or being named Worst Person in the World for leaving the toilet seat up?
![[non-album tracks]](http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/_/33318/Lauryn+Hill.jpg)
Ooohhhhh. Tough one. I know which one my daughter would choose in a minute. Bad boys. Sigh.
Marry: Daniel, at least I wouldn’t have to go and visit him in prison and he’s pretty hot and our adorable magical children would have nice blue eyes.
F*ck: Tom, bad boys are hot. (I wonder where she gets that?)
Kill: Rupert, sorry, but the side-kick always gets it in the end and his character annoys me sometimes.
Reply
Marry: Daniel Radcliffe, just cause he’s gonna be the biggest star, and make the most money, and anybody I marry, regardless of his age, is gonna be MY sugardaddy.
F*ck: Rupert Grint, I’ve got me a thing for redheads… especially redheads with hairthings and cute accents.
Kill: Tom Felton, which I don’t really like saying, cause he’s cute and got a kind of hairthing, but he’s not a BIG star, and he’s not a redhead, so he IS a deader.
HUGS…
Reply
Marry: Tom. He’s the cutest of the three and I like his hair.
Spend private time with: Daniel. He’s aight, but I wasn’t impressed with his Equus n00dz. So I don’t wanna spend my whole life with him, but just once is fine.
Kill: Rupert. Not my type, kind of reminds me of a weasel or something (No, not just because he plays a Weasley).
I’m disappointed Emma Watson wasn’t on here. I’d marry her over Tom any day!
Reply
None of them do anything for me. I’d rather choose Sean Biggerstaff, whose fantasy porn star last name is only enhanced by him playing Oliver Wood.
Reply
Tam Reply:
July 15th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
That’s cheating Ryan. You can’t sneak in and run off with the best hottie while we are choosing from the three above. No fair.
Reply
Marry: Rupert. I also have a thing for Redheads,
Fuck: Daniel. I ahve seen the EQUS pics
Kill: Tom. Too pointy. Nose, chin, elbows. All those sharp angles scare me.
Reply
Marry: Rupert. Cause he just seems so sweet.
F*ck: Daniel, have you seen those abs?! It’s only because of his body.
Kill: Tom, like Wolfie says, his face is too pointy.
Reply
Now that I saw the movie, I feel it’s my duty to report that Freddie Stroma is by far the most attractive cast member in all of the HP films.
Here he is dancing awkwardly (in underwear): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tIY6d-N_aE
Reply
Craig Reply:
July 17th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
I second that nomination.
Reply
Marry: Daniel
Fuck: Tom
Kill: Rupert (sorry!)
Reply
[...] choices from last week: Marry: Daniel Radcliffe. F*ck: Tom Felton. Kill: Rupert [...]