Blind Prophecy

Welcome back to the third challenge in our Great Blind Prophecy Mascot Contest. Sorry it’s been so long in coming. Technical delays and the upcoming move to New York have made it difficult to get everything together, but the awesome guest judges made it worth the wait!

As the contest builds, competition is getting more intense. Although Elle is for Lizard took an early lead thanks to her spirited music video in the first challenge, Toby Dog evened the odds with his ability to show up for the athleticism challenge. This week we move on to Character & Symbolism. There is twice as much on the line this week as we’ll be judging character and symbolism separately. And by we, I mean my special guest judges!

In the character challenge, the contestants are participating in that classic competition standard: the pageant interview. Each of our contestants will answer the same question posed by your charming blog host, and our guest judges will vote for their favorite.

In the symbolism challenge, the contestants have been tasked with creating fashion photo shoots that symbolize a political/serious blog posting on Blind Prophecy. These photos will be critiqued by more guest judges who will declare the winner.

On with the show…

Up first is Gay Moose. Despite going all out in the first round, GM missed a chance at catching up in round two when he got… distracted. Let’s see if he’s learned his lesson and is back in the competition.

Gay Moose, as you know, it’s very important to me that–in addition to having fun and chronicling my personal adventures on Blind Prophecy–we use this little corner of the internet to make the world a better place. If you had the power to pass one law today, what would it be and why?

Gay Moose: Well, Jere, as romantic as it sounds to solve the world’s problems with a sweeping law against discrimination or cruelty, we must acknowledge that true change comes from personal interaction. You cannot legislate fairness or education or kindness. We must also guard against unintended consequences of poorly considered legislation, which is why I wouldn’t pass any law at all. Without the give-and-take of a fair Democratic process, we cannot guard against the mistakes of well-intentioned but ultimately counter-productive rules.

Wow, GM, you sound different. More polished.

Gay Moose: I totes been workin wit legendarian pageant coach, Janice Cowell Gunn. She’z been schoolin’ me en hablo fancypanterz. Shout out to Janice! Love you, gurl!

Thank you, GM, and now let’s take a look at your fashion shoot. {click to embiggen}

Up next is Elle is for Lizard.

Elle is for Lizard, as you know, it’s very important to me that–in addition to having fun and chronicling my personal adventures on Blind Prophecy–we use this little corner of the internet to make the world a better place. If you had the power to pass one law today, what would it be and why?

Elle is for Lizard: Many would assume that my one law would be to install myself as absolute commander of all military, police and governmental agencies. Such a law would give me both the time and authority to institute numerous thoughtful and progressive initiatives from equality mandates to health care. But if I got just one law, and I didn’t use it to gain unfettered absolute power, my law would be something aimed at clarifying and strengthening the metaphorical wall between government and religion.

Thank you, Elle, and now let’s see the results of your fashion shoot. {click to embiggen}

Finally, we return to last week’s champ, Toby Dog.

Toby Dog, as you know, it’s very important to me that–in addition to having fun and chronicling my personal adventures on Blind Prophecy–we use this little corner of the internet to make the world a better place. If you had the power to pass one law today, what would it be and why?

Toby Dog: I personally believe that U.S. Americans should hug each other because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don’t have cuddles and uh, I believe that our, I, snuggles like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our hugging over here in the US should help the US, uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us. Hugs.

Do you want to try that again in five seconds?

Toby Dog: Free hugs for everyone!

Okay, thank you, Toby Dog, and now we’ll take a look at the fashion photos. {click to embiggen}

Okay, so let’s reveal our surprise guest judges for the character challenge. Our guest judges are: Craig and Callie! My adorable niece and nephew! Let’s see how they voted:

Callie’s comments from video I can’t get to work:

I love Toby Dog … I love Uncle Jere! Bark! Bark!

Callie votes for Toby Dog!

Craig’s comments:

I love Toby Dog ’cause he’s a chihuahua … [dancing and singing] I love Toby Dog ’cause he’s a big dog … I love him ’cause he barks a lot!

Craig votes for Toby Dog!

That means that Toby Dog wins the Character challenge.

As for Symbolism, our special guest judges are my niece Alexia and my soon-to-be-nephew tentatively known as “Ace!” Unfortunately, technical difficulties have come between us and the photos of these all-stars. Luckily, Alexia’s mommy was able to communicate Alexia’s intentions to me and the fetus-American currently dubbed Ace won’t be available for photos until later this week after his parent’s fetal photography session got rescheduled, but I have blatantly made up telepathically learned of his critiques through the miracle of baby magic!

First we’ll hear Ace’s analysis of the photo shoots:

Well, Gay Moose once again showed a great deal of technical skill and high production values. Unfortunately, as nice as these photos are, it’s all surface. Really, black and white alleyway photography? Catching the model mid-jump? Is he even trying to go beyond cliché? While GM might certainly see his work picked up by a mid-rate fashion magazine, I see no connection to the second half of the challenge – which was to symbolize a serious or political blog from my soon-to-be uncle’s website. Is he trying to say that Uncle Jere’s astute political observations are trash to be hidden from visitors?

Toby Dog’s photos are certainly a big departure for this contestant who has been labeled creepy and juvenile. I wouldn’t go so far as to say they completely eschew fashion photography cliché, they do at least try for originality. The inclusion of Miss Yvonne from Pee Wee’s Playhouse is an interesting choice that makes me want to give these photos extra points for camp value, but I’m just not sure it was intentional. The backdrop of Andy Warhol in one of the photos is another nice element, especially in light of his famous “15 minutes of fame” comment, which defines so much of modern blogging in general. In the end, though, the random phrases and modernist touches seem to be communicating that Uncle Jere’s site is just another product of populist herd mentality which – like these photos – strives for greatness but barely rises above mediocre.

In the end, the stand out winner in this category must be Elle is for Lizard. Her hauntingly lonely portraits place her amidst-but removed from-a crowd of similar bodies. Her intelligence separates her from her peers, at least in her own mind. I love the somewhat obvious use of a literal soapbox for her platform – what better metaphor for Uncle Jere on one of his political rants? For those who would claim that the staging bespeaks a sense of superiority over her fellow lizards, I suggest you take a good look at those eyes – the sadness and burden of her expression. This is not superiority, it is loneliness.

Ace votes for Elle!

And Alexia’s Analysis:

Elle is for Lizard and that’s good enough for me

Alexia votes for Elle!

Here’s an artist rendering of the judges delivering their votes:

So Elle is for Lizard takes the Symbolism category.

A programming note: the next installment of the Great Blind Prophecy Mascot Contest will probably not return until after I’ve moved to New York City, but we will almost certainly need to wrap this up before I start full time classes in mid-August. Stay tuned!

Rankings:

Rankings
Spirit	Athleticism	Character	Symbolism	Creativity	Popularity
Elle is for Lizard	Toby Dog	Toby Dog	Elle is for Lizard

Filed under: mascot contest, Mi Familia by Jere Keys