Marry, F*ck or Kill

Wednesday, July 7th, 2010

Beards are hot. Not like 100 degrees in New York so kill me before I have to get on the subway hot. Like sexy hot. Everyone says so.

Choice 1 Choice 2 Choice 3
Eric Dane John Legend Ryan Reynolds

To review the rules… You must choose one who you would spend the rest of your life with, one you would have a freaky-monkey one-night stand with, and one who you would put to death*. You tell me who you choose and why.

*standard disclaimer: we are anti-death penalty, we play this game as a thought exercise, not an endorsement of murder. Also, we are sex-positive and believe that two people can have crazy one-time sex without shame or emotional baggage. Finally, for the purposes of this game, we all live in marriage equality jurisdictions.

My picks from last time:
Marry: Graham. He says he’s not gay. A lot. My experience tends to indicate that means he’s a super-gay super-freak in the sack.
Fuck: Session. But it would be a total hate-fuck.
Kill: Kyl. Remember, he’s the senator for Arizona who makes McCain seem moderate and centrist.

Filed under: games, unnecessary beefcake by Jere Keys

9 Responses to “Marry, F*ck or Kill”

  1. john, on July 7th, 2010 at 7:23 am Said:

    Fuck John Legend, but he has to sing at some point.
    Marry Ryan Reynolds, he has to have some cash and he does have a nice body. I might have to shove a sock in his mouth on occasion. Or perhaps something meatier.
    Kill Eric. Mostly by default.

  2. Tam, on July 7th, 2010 at 7:30 am Said:

    Ditto what John said. Although he changed the order just to confuse me. And I’d shave Ryan’s beard off when he’s sleeping.

    Jere Keys Reply:
    July 7th, 2010 at 7:57 am

    Nooooo! It’s the beard that makes him sexy. Everyone says so. ;)

    Tam Reply:
    July 7th, 2010 at 9:00 am

    I don’t say so and what I say goes. :-P It’s the abs that make him sexy. Scruff is good though, he can maintain scruff. He’s too beardy there for me.

  3. josh, on July 7th, 2010 at 10:55 pm Said:

    Marry: John, so he can sing to me all the time! <3 NEOSOUL <3

    Eff: Ryan Reynolds aka hottest guy ever.

    Kill: Eric…he's the most out of shape/most boring!

  4. Polt, on July 8th, 2010 at 9:27 am Said:

    Marry: Ryan Reynolds, cause he’s the one I want to spend the rest of life waking up besides.
    F*ck: John Legend, cause everyone knows owning a bulldog means you’re bulldog in the sack.
    Kill: Eric Dane, cause really, he doesn’t even come close to the other two.

    Although, I’m with my twin Tam in saying i’d have to shave the beards off, cause all that scratchy stubbley stuff could give me rugburn in my nether regions.

    HUGS…

  5. Craig, on July 8th, 2010 at 3:07 pm Said:

    Fuck: Eric Dane (Because he’s hot)
    Marry: Ryan Reynolds (Because he’s hot AND funny)
    Kill: John Legend (Because I’m racist)

    Enrico Reply:
    July 10th, 2010 at 10:00 am

    DITTO

  6. Michelle M., on July 9th, 2010 at 2:15 am Said:

    Marry – Ryan Reynolds, far and away, hands down, yes please.
    Make sweet love to – John Legend. He’s got rhythm and knows how to tickle the ivories. This bodes well.
    Kill – Eric Dane. He seems to be sleazy in real life.

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