Marry, F*ck or Kill
Wednesday, July 21st, 2010This week is pop music whores. Because I can’t think of a category I’d actually care about.
| Choice 1 | Choice 2 | Choice 3 |
 |
 |
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| Katy Perry will melt my popsicle | Ke$ha likes my beard | Miley Cyrus isn’t telling me to go to hell, she’s not a brat like that |
To review the rules… You must choose one who you would spend the rest of your life with, one you would have a freaky-monkey one-night stand with, and one who you would put to death*. You tell me who you choose and why.
*standard disclaimer: we are anti-death penalty, we play this game as a thought exercise, not an endorsement of murder. Also, we are sex-positive and believe that two people can have crazy one-time sex without shame or emotional baggage. Let’s just go ahead and pretend that Miley Cyrus is 22 years old so no one has to have the (legally incorrect in most states) “but she’s not legal” comment. Finally, for the purposes of this game, we all live in marriage equality jurisdictions.
My picks from last time:
Marry: Charlie. Smart, kind and sexy.
Fuck: Josh. Behind all that cocky ego is an insecure little boy who probably tries really, really hard to impress you between the sheets. Also, I like his brand of snark.
Kill: Sam. And not just because I think it’s funny that this is the second week in a row I have someone with an embarrassing threesome sex tape leak (NSFW), but because I find him terribly boring.
![Mr. & Mrs. Smith (SMASH Cast Version) [feat. Megan Hilty & Will Chase] - Single](http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/34s/74615246.jpg)
![I Never Met a Wolf Who Didn't Love to Howl (SMASH Cast Version) [feat. Megan Hilty] - Single](http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/34s/75191908.jpg)
Hmmm. Pop tarts huh. This was not so hard.
Marry: Katy – she seems the most “normal” of the three and if I have to spend the rest of my life with someone I want normal.
F*ck: Ke$ha – freaky in bed I’m sure.
Kill: Miley – my daughter would insist on this one, she annoys me on a personal level, music not withstanding *makes butterflies fly away motion with hands*
The Ryan with the Cupcake Reply:
July 21st, 2010 at 11:25 am
Ooo . . . can I marry Stephen?
josh Reply:
July 21st, 2010 at 8:57 pm
Good luck marrying him! I can’t even get him to call me. :’(
First off…whores? RUDE.
Secondly,
Marry: Katy
Marry: Ke$ha
Marry: Miley
Marry: P!nk
Marry: Christina Aguilera
Marry: Jennifer Hudson
Marry: Taylor Swift
Marry: Nelly Furtado
Marry: Michelle Branch
Marry: Vanessa Carlton
Kill: Lady Gaga
Tam Reply:
July 21st, 2010 at 11:29 am
You have to move to Utah to pull that one off Josh.
josh Reply:
July 21st, 2010 at 8:56 pm
Oh! And…
Marry: Kelly Clarkson
Marry: Kelly Osbourne
Marry: Lohan Holiday
Marry: Syesha SUPERMercado
Tam Reply:
July 22nd, 2010 at 9:12 am
You better be eating your greens and taking your vitamins if you’re going to keep all the ladies happy Josh.
Really? Seriously? THESE are my choices.
Okay then….
I think I’d marry them all off to Josh, then go F*ck Taylor Launter and then go kill Glenn Beck.
Yeah, that’d be a good day.
HUGS…
Marry: Katy, she’s cute and has a nice rack.
Fuck: Ke$ha, with a condom, possibly two. And she has to shower and brush her teeth first.
Kill: Miley. Mostly by elimination and that fact I think she is still jail bait.
Marry: Miley. Then divorce her and take half her money.
Make sweet love to : Katy. She seems fun.
Kill: Ke$ha. That coy/smug sing-songy talk thing she does gets on my last damned nerve.
Marry: Miley. It’s Miley!
Fuck: Ke$ha. I feel like she’d be really good. But I agree with john’s conditions.
Kill: Katy. I just can’t stand her.
Marry: Ke$ha – least offensive of the three.
Fuck: Katy – just to give her the worst night of her life.
Kill: Miley. She just sucks.
Wake Up In Vegas With: Katy
Take It Off With: Ke$ha
Do A Liberty Walk With: Miley